The Ups and Downs of Staying at Home

I was unintentionally a jerk this week. I e-mailed a (very nice) lady about a volunteer position, and, after reviewing all of the job requirements and getting her very excited that someone was interested, had to turn it down. It was full-time hours, you see. And I couldn’t bring my daughter. That’s a deal breaker for me.

I’m a stay at home mom. I told my husband while we were dating that if we were to ever have children, I would want to stay home with them until they were old enough for school. Staying home with my children has been a major goal for me for a very long time. But, like everything in life, it has its ups and downs.

Sometimes I want someone to remember that I’m not just someone’s mom. I’m still me. I’m still funny (if only in my own mind), tenacious, and loud. More than just a diaper changing machine, I’m still opinionated, I still like to work out, I still write. I love my daughter and our pets very much. But being her caretaker does not mean that my spark is gone. When Nick and I see friends, I have to admit that it makes me sad when all they ask me about is Zoey.

I can’t speak for every stay at home parent, but I know many of us feel the same way. Grateful, but a little bored. Dedicated, but frustrated. Hanging out with Zoey has been one of the bigger blessings in my life. Being there for her every milestone is pretty awesome, and I like the flexibility my schedule allows us. I’m also aware that my ability to stay home is possible largely through financial sacrifice on our family’s part. My love for what I do doesn’t mean that I don’t get bored or lonely. But because I love taking care of Zoey, I work hard to get through the boredom and loneliness and appreciate staying at home as an opportunity to raise my daughter to my own standards.

I’m not really complaining. Taking care of babies is a pretty sweet gig. Just remember that just like you don’t want to talk about your job all day…I don’t only want to talk about mine all day either.

Becky Duquette

About Becky Duquette

Becky is a stay at home mom to Zoey, her family's pack of dogs, and several cats who is rediscovering what it means to be a Mainer.